Never judge a book by its cover, the old saying goes. Likewise, we should never judge a movie by its posters full of shirtless young men like Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson, with their brooding abs and heartthrob poses.
The core of the “Twilight” fanbase will always be boy-obsessed teenage girls, and the first film of the series was fine for them (watch the MTV Movie Awards for reference). The large remainder of the “Twilight” audience, however, had to endure god-awful acting, mediocre writing, poor special effects and an overbearing seriousness that bogged down the film. Not to mention, much of the movie deviated from the plot and dialogue of Stephenie Meyer’s book.
For the most part, all of those issues have been resolved in “New Moon.”
In the ‘70s, “The Exorcist,” “Halloween” and “Jaws” frightened theater-goers to the point of physical shaking. In the ‘80s, iconic teen killers Freddy Kreuger and Jason Voorhees became Hollywood’s horror heroes. The ‘90s are largely remembered for the psychological scares of “The Sixth Sense,” “The Silence of the Lambs” and “The Blair Witch Project.”
Unfortunately, many will remember the ‘00s for the onslaught of dumbed-down torture porn films like “Hostel,” “Turistas” and “Captivity.” Or cookie-cutter slasher flicks like “Sorority Row” and “Prom Night.” Or mediocre remakes and revivals like “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre,” “When a Stranger Calls” and “The Wicker Man.”
Do you remember 2001’s “Jason X”? Jason was in outer freaking space!
Ugh.
Truthfully, only one or two horror films a year are ever really noteworthy. This article will sift through the junk and find the few gems this decade had to offer.
There may not have been fans turned out in sequins, white gloves and hi-water pants but fans, none the less, went to Hollywood 10 Theater to see Michael Jackson’s last performance.
The few hundred words, playful drawings, beastly characters and lessons of childhood emotion in Maurice Sendak’s “Where the Wild Things Are” has helped it to become a cultural landmark in children’s literature. But it’s also made the task of adapting it for the big screen without losing the book’s essence seem impossibly daunting. This is left up to the imagination of visionary writer/director Spike Jonze, who even with a talented voice-over cast and spectacular images, only gets half the job done.
The shoe-string budget. The clever democratic marketing scheme. The mythic frightening effects on legendary director Steven Spielberg. Every one of these aspects has aided in the success of “Paranormal Activity,” the horror film that’s making crazy profits in extremely limited release and will be unleashed upon the movie-going public in a nationwide release this Friday. And the cleverly simplistic concept with abundant scares and disturbia lives up the hype it’s been given.
From the super slow-mo action shots of blood-belching zombies terrorizing stunned humans during the opening credits to a finale that includes Woody Harrelson riding a roller coaster while picking off undead targets with glee, “Zombieland” provides ridiculous laughs, memorable characters, graphic zombie annihilation and even a few clever comic moments.
Now that the summer movie season is officially over, it’s time for dramas, family flicks and Oscar contenders to start invading the theaters. Here is a preview of the mainstream films coming to a theater near you this fall.
Mike Judge has to be some sort of zen master in hilarious stupidity. The writer/director has created gold in shows like “Beavis and Butthead” and “King of the Hill” and the workplace cult comedy “Office Space.” But the only thing he’s responsible for in his latest comic offering, “Extract,” is his trademark dumb humor with a lot of darkness, few laughs and even occasional boredom, despite some solid performances.
Hollywood has had absolutely no problem taking iconic horror films and remaking them for a quick buck. But one look at heavy metal boogie man/horror director Rob Zombie’s re-imagining of slasher icon Michael Myers in 2007’s “Halloween” and you knew that he wasn’t just cashing in. He was trying to make something great and undoubtedly his own.
Let’s crunch some numbers. The “Inglourious Basterds” marketing campaign is aimed at movie-goers who want to see Nazis get their big, fascist sauerkraut-loving asses kicked. That’s probably about 95 percent of the American movie audience (subtracting critics).
If “The Goods: Live Hard. Sell Hard’s” cocksure salesmen were going to sell you on the movie, they probably wouldn’t mention that it’s basically an older model of comedy you’ve seen in superior predecessors with equally long titles like “Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy” or “Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby.” But thanks to a strong cast of scene-stealers lead by Jeremy Piven, “The Goods,” a raunchy, absurd and mostly solid comedy, is still worth driving off the lot.
The rudimentary plot the comedy hangs on involves Selleck Motors, a down-and-out used car dealership in Temecula, Calif., run by Ben Selleck (James Brolin). Before the business goes belly-up in bankruptcy, the owners call in hired gun Don Ready (Jeremy Piven), a natural-born salesman/womanizer armed with a fast tongue, permanent five o’ clock shadow, ‘70s sideburns and a Hacienda Courts Frequent Sleeper Card. He and his road-tested team — soulful teddy bear Jibby Newsome (Ving Rhames), nymphomaniac boozer Babs Merrick (Kathryn Hahn) and perverse number cruncher Brent Gage (David Koechner) — descend upon the Cali car lot to pull out all the stops on a July 4th weekend to sell the metal.
For those of you looking for a review of “Aliens in the Attic,” I regret to inform you there isn’t one. Fox did not screen the film for critics. What’s more troubling is that the studio has not given a reason why. That’s usually a bad sign.
While reading a collection of old ‘50s crime comics and horror comics, Big Atom Productions writer and director Tim Friend had an epiphany. Albeit, an odd epiphany.
“It occurred to me that I hadn’t ever seen gangsters and monsters together in a horror movie,” Tim recalls. “I jokingly tossed out the title ‘Bonnie and Clyde vs. Dracula’ to (my wife) Jenn, and the idea just stuck.”
Finally, the “Harry Potter” cast is given the opportunity to truly act. And it pays off in a film full of sadness, fear, darkness and raging teenage hormones. For this reason, “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” is one of the best of the franchise, matched maybe only by the exciting, action-filled “Goblet of Fire.”