This film is exactly what you'd expect. It's a Michael Bay explosion-fest with plenty of giant robot fighting scenes and hot chicks in skimpy clothes. It's not a mind-bending thriller with intelligent acting, but a special effects-inflated action flick.

So even though it's mind-numbingly dumb, it's pretty cool!

The film's premise is basic. When the remaining sliver of the life-creating Cube is found on Earth, the Decepticons retrieve it and awaken Megatron (voice of Hugo Weaving) from his ocean tomb. Megatron and the Decepticons return to Cybertron to confer with their leader, The Fallen (voice of Tony Todd), who has a plan to destroy the sun. Therefore, Sam (Shia LaBeouf) and Mikaela (Megan Fox) must help the Autobots stop the Decepticons from destroying life in our solar system.

Along the way, there are several great fights in which Optimus Prime (voice of Peter Cullen) channels his inner-Wolverine as he impales and rips the faces off of many Decepticons.

Cool!

The sound is amazing. And "amazing" might be underselling it. You hear every clank of metal, every high-impact Autobot body slam, every gunshot wasted on a giant Decepticon. I even felt the vibrations from the explosions.

Cool!

This movie is much funnier than its predecessor. Most of the humorous moments are created by Sam's mom, Judy (Julie White), who becomes hysterical when she realizes her baby boy is off to college. For comfort, she buys some brownies from a student group. Unfortunately, they're hash brownies and hijinks ensue. Oh, and a foot-tall Decepticon puts the moves on Megan Fox.

Cool!

Hopefully, you've picked up on my sarcasm. "Transformers" is cool, but it's not necessarily good.

Megan Fox is very attractive. We all know that. But couldn't she have worked with an acting coach in the last two years? I guess she was probably too busy practicing pouty faces and posing on motorcycles while fanboys drooled over her.

Dumb!

I know they wanted to keep the plot simple for the kids, but this movie had some serious flaws. For example, the military kept the Cube sliver in a guarded glass tube. A glass tube?! They kept the one thing that the Decepticons needed to make simple objects come to life in a glass tube?!

Dumb!

It's two and a half hours. And because it's simple and predictable, the movie does start to drag on after 90 minutes. It's kind of like watching a really long fireworks show. There are lots and lots of booms and pretty colors, but you're really just bored and waiting for the end when they light all the big ones at once.

Dumb!

Here's the deal. If you're a male under 25, you're going to love this movie because it's so cool. I liked it. But my brain hates me for liking it.