I remember seeing "Raising Arizona" again a few years ago and thinking, 'Man, Nicolas Cage is a great actor.'

Then I saw "Adaptation." and I thought, 'Man, Nicolas Cage is a darn good actor.'

Then I saw "The Rock" and thought, 'Nicolas Cage is OK."

Then I saw "The Wicker Man." Then I saw "Ghost Rider." Then I saw "Next."

Joaquin Phoenix recently retired from making movies, but maybe Cage should have been the one to take a break. Instead, he's currently working on 11 projects.

Eleven? ELEVEN?!? Hey Nicky, here's a tip: Instead of working on 11 pieces of trash, maybe you should work on one decent film. Why is Cage in such high demand when he hasn't made a good movie in six years?

Okay, that was a little unfair. What I meant to say is that he hasn't brought something special to any of his roles since "Adaptation." You see, there are three kinds of Nicolas Cage movies: Good movies, bad movies and movies that would have been good if Nicolas Cage wasn't starring in them. Here are some examples--

MOVIES THAT ARE GOOD BECAUSE OF CAGE:

• "Raising Arizona"
• "Adaptation."
• "Moonstruck" (I'm basing this one off of popular opinion)

MOVIES THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN GOOD WITHOUT CAGE:

• "Lord of War"
• "National Treasure"
• "8MM"
• "The Rock"

BAD CAGE MOVIES:

• Everything else (I know how much some of you love "Face/Off" and "Con Air," but they're too over-the-top cheesy for me).

The thing is, I don't dislike Nicolas Cage. It's not like he's Keanu Reeves-bad. I think he has talent, but just hasn't used it in a while. Seriously, I feel like the guy is reading off of cue cards sometimes. If you saw "Ghost Rider," then you know what I'm talking about.

I'm just disappointed in him. That's all. I saw some of his upcoming projects on IMDb, and some of them look just as bad as "Next." I can tell you right now that "Knowing" will not be good.

Nic, I'm asking you politely to use some discretion when choosing your next projects. And for God's sake, use some of your Coppola-inherited talent when you're acting. I promise it will be better for everyone.

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