In all the years I’ve been dating, I’ve been single more often than not. One thing my friends and family have often attributed my acute singleness to was the fact that I am so freakin’ picky.

And they’re right, I am picky about the guys I date. There are certain things I like and certain things that just turn me off, no matter what.

But I always just thought of it as having high standards. So when I’m accused yet again of being too picky, it makes me wonder, when does having high standards turn into being too picky? Or are they really just the same thing?

Tracie Rouse says having standards is a confidence thing, knowing what you want in some­one else and making sure you get it.

“It’s all about the amount of confidence you have in yourself and the confidence you want in someone else,” she says.

Jeffrey Weidmier says when it comes to the girls he meets, there are certain things he just can’t have. But he doesn’t think this makes him picky.

“It’s not about pickiness, it’s about selectiveness,” he says.

And I’m all about selective­ness. You don’t want to date just anybody. But how selective can you be?

I think the line comes when you start passing on people for minor things vs. your major dealbreakers; not only upholding your standards, but making them so high nobody can meet them.

Maybe the guy you just met meets all of your major criteria, but you don’t want to go out with him because he likes country music and you don’t, or you like cats and he likes dogs.

Standards are definitely a good thing to have, but you have to be willing to compromise on things.

You have to be willing to look past certain “flaws,” like the fact that he’s wearing cowboys boots or that she can’t remember the last time she watched TV.

Because in the end, are these things really going to be what makes a relationship absolutely impossible? I don’t think so. But, turning someone down because they don’t meet your laundry list of criteria will.

– LACEY STORER | STJOELIVE STAFF